Baiq's Dairy

No, I’m wrong This feeling is not a relief This is a torture I pretend to be strong But it keeps me in a vain The guilty The ashamed How can I lift my face when I am back? I don’t want to explain my situation to anybody I don’t want their judgement I just want to be alone Inside my curfew Staying like nothing is wrong Well, I know I’m bad But what else I can do My youth is shattered with my stupidity All of my imagination is gone Hitting the bottom rock of my life I do want to stay positive Belief everything will be okay eventually But, my heart is not ready yet The selfish me want someone to blame The selfish me want me, myself to stay depressed Mocking the failure before me

I try to close my eyes Deluding myself Everything is fine The world is smiling Nothing bad happened to us The selfish me always looking for an escape The easy life The happy path But, deep down there, I know my place I recognize the trouble I experienced the anxiety My chest is heavy with worries The oxygen in my brain seems limited But, that’s not the case The nurse is smirking Saying I’m okay Nothing troubled with my body Stop looking for an excuse I think I know myself I know my best and my worst But people saying different things about me They describe someone unfamiliar So, who is me Who am I Does someone else live in my body unknowingly Someone who interact the most with people outside

Oh girl You lead such a depressed life You don’t let the sun come, Closing the curtain Stay inside your blanket Nothing can fulfil your hunger Neither your thirst Everything seems wrong What’s wrong with you You build an imaginary world Where you can shine the most You have the castle with million guards Where the rainbow stays forever You are hoping that’s the world and your world will be reversed Oh girl You are 25 Yet you are nothing You are far away from accomplishment You don’t even have a dream You don’t have ambition You don’t know what are you and what you want Why you are like that Oh girl You used to be an optimist But you feel like you are being trapped in reality You lost the timing to be yourself Blaming the world is the only way to escape from guiltiness    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MKJY4vAc5o   this song is suuitable to my mood like now a situation where I want to run away f...